Well, I made it through my first night without kids! It was a little tense here for a good part of the day – I don’t know if it’s because they were getting sick of each other or if they were uptight about leaving or what but Autumn seemed especially agitated.
We went to Hard Rock Cafe for a late lunch and then headed to the airport. When we got to the airport terminal they were just going to go on into security and I had to make them stop and give me a hug. Jacob is very comfortable flying and neither of the kids are much for showing affection. They didn’t want it to be a big deal and I know they didn’t want to see me cry. Jacob was like “okay, see you in a few weeks.” Then he was gone. Autumn was pretty much the same. And there I stood, alone, crying and watching my babies head off into the start of their new lives.
I couldn’t make the tears stop until after I had reached the car and had something else to focus on (how to get home for example). And then I just kept busy all evening and watched the flights to make sure they arrived safely.
I did get on an on-line dating site although I’m not sure why because I won’t be ready to date for at least 30 lbs. I guess maybe I just wanted to occupy my thoughts with something other than unpacking for a few minutes. I still can’t believe how lame some of these guys are on-line. First off, they don’t know how to make conversation at all. They say things like “ask me any questions you want” but they make no effort to keep the conversation going. And then just when you think they must not be interested in you they respond to one of your questions by adding “kisses” to the end or saying something like “I watched a football game but would have much rather been cuddling with you.” Come on now – I haven’t even met you and you think I’d be interested in cuddling? Is there a book or something out there these guys are reading that is leading them to believe all women are just horny and looking for the first guy to look our way. Anyway, I’m not impressed.
I didn’t get to work out yesterday although I did try. My key card that the office gave me doesn’t work. Of course, since it was the first of January nobody was in the office to fix it for me. I’ll stop by today and get that fixed. I did lose .6 of a pound. I know it’s not much but hey, I’ll take what I can get. If I could do that every day, that would be 4.2 lbs a week which isn’t too shabby.
I also found a wonderful whole food store about four miles from where I live. It is huge. I found being healthy to be costly and since one of my goals is to improve my financial situation I’ll have to ease into healthy living. I think I’ll try to just get a few groceries there a week and as my finances improve I’ll add more.
Today is the 12th day I’ve been off work (I’m counting weekends too) but it doesn’t feel like I’ve been off that long at all. With all the packing, moving, Christmas, traveling to my new location, it has flown by. Today and tomorrow are my last 2 days. Fortunately for me I work for a company that shuts down from Christmas eve through New Years Day so I didn’t have to use any vacation time for all this. I took 2 additional days off before Christmas because the movers were packing me up during those days but my boss just gave those to me as I’ve been working all kinds of crazy hours for the past six months. Anyway, I could easily take off another week to get organized here but it’s probably best I don’t because I anticipate next weekend is when it will really hit me that the kids aren’t here. I have traveled a lot over the past six months but I’ve always looked forward to and been home on the weekends because I get to see them. I have plenty to do so it won’t be a matter of boredom that is making me lonely. Any suggestions you want to send my way regarding how to cope will be appreciated.
Okay, off to walk my doggy who is looking a bit lonely too . . . . . .
Marissa
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